Earnest, a cryogenically frozen astronaut, was excited to be the first human being recruted to study the experience of sex on Mars. While extensive experiments had been performed on scientists in Earth orbit and on the moon, NASA had to be thorough in anything and everything, and the gravitation field of Mars (and the affect of trace amount of atmospheric iron oxide suit permeation) was an unknown quantity. So they had selected Earnest to test out sex with several partners. They had queried him extensively on his preferences (which ranged from white to black, buxom to flat, raven-headed to blonde) and on his sexual preferences (which were even more inclusive and varied) and promised that all of his desires would be satisfied so long as he submitted his data. It was certainly the best gig he had ever gotten. The whole trip – two-and-a-half years – he dreamt all sorts of kinky dreams involving whipped cream and honey and riding crops and bunny outfits and jumping so so so high in the air.
If the dreams were this delicious, he thought, what would the reality be like.
Finally, the ship touched down and the computer thawed him and his partners. Trembling with excitement he approached her chamber. He knocked. No reply. She must be shy! he thought with delight. Almost bursting with excitement, he reached out and pushed the door open. On the floor he saw a modest bicycle pump and a wrinkled flesh-colored plastic doll.