I think that for many of us the lyrics to Soothe by the Smashing Pumpkins represents the possibility, if not the ideal, of what we can realistically hope for when it comes to dealing with ugly situations in the past and present. Look at these words as applying not to a person, but to an event or a situation.
Hold me, hold me again. Hold me, hold me again.
When will it start to sway?
When will it start to almost break you?
Hold me, hold me again. Hold me, hold me again.
I don’t miss you, and I don’t wish you love,
but I forgive you and I don’t wish you away, away, away.
It’ll almost break you, almost take you,
almost break you, almost break you up.