DIARY
Cut-and-pasted from my Journal for your enjoyment:
“The 23rd was wonderful!
“Work was busy, but I prepped Monday.
Pam gave me a box of chocolate and said I might go full-time or stay past January.”
“Steve left. Kelly left. Nia took my place up front, so I could leave ~12:30.”
“I got transcripts from MARY.” … asked “if people tend to do this all at the last minute. ‘They all do,’ with firm confidence. Then, the girl waiting with me commented on the cost of it all… ‘and then, it’s the last minute, so you have to FedEd it.’
“A great moment of empathy.
“I spent over an hour at 57th St. Books getting gifts.
“Then, I walked to Tom’s[, my godfather].
“We drank coffee in his kitchen and talked about gay rights (And their recent setbacks). I can’t see Tom enough. He is a verybestfriend.
“I had good CTA luck all day. I probably waited <10 minutes between 3 trains and 2 buses.
“Good karma.
“I go back to EDGEWATER BEACH by 5:05, but between packing and grad school shit, Sam and I didn’t make it out ’til 8:30.
(I actually think it was even later).
“I drifted between Benton Harbor and PawPaw.
“Whenever I cross the MI state lne, I feel comfort, knowing that if I die I’ll die in Michigan.
“We listened to good music; especially Postal ··· (?) and Orbital.
“We got in after 2.
“I didn’t stay up late.”
“I got up around 9:30 on Noctus 3 (Christmas Eve) with only Cody around. No cars. I spent ~2 hr.s on Advent work, but by noon nobody had returned and I still neded presents before Christmas Eve dinner at Grandma’s at 5 so I started to panic.
“Mom got home around 1, and I left then.
I stopped at Main Street Treasures in Flushing.
“Then, Main -> Terrace -> River -> Beecher -> Graham -> Lennon -> Best Buy.
“Back home (I’d listened to Snivilization in the car) Caitlin and Craig had arrived.
“Two hectic hours passed, then we flew to Gram. C.’s for Christmas Eve dinner.
“Splendid! I had Guinness.
“The food has been particularly spectacular this year.
“Dad and Cody developed grandma’s DVD (‘drink Vernors daily,’ I said, to help out).
“Caitlin fell asleep and we all talked while an old flix was on TV.
“At 9:15 I left for St. John Vianny, driving directly, then stood in the half dark at the back right-hand side with a glow up front: blue pins and white points, wreathes, and the choir belted the hymns out.
“At the homily, father…
“Osborn spoke of mystery! Of not unwrapping but grasping the mystery in its profound simplicity.
HOT PINK · · · SKY BLUE
“They (do not break down) in a very similar way.
“But that was not the moment.
“The moment was standing in the pew and shivering – smaller but remeniscent of just before my confirmation – in that light and darkness and stained glass and music.
“(I’d noticed the before that (on my way) I saw the stained glass perfectly, illuminated in the night against the light within.
“But what was that moment?
“I want to find that moment.
“On the right, near the back. No incense.
“The pews were packed.
“I sat beside a family, halfway down.
“I sat immediately beside an older woman (with a shawl?) she was sweet and warm.
“I looked at the statues and tried to imagine they weren’t so much Caucasian as bleached by a hugely bright light. I was half-successful.
“The feeling hit me during the homily.
“I felt there. In Flint. In that church. That church felt there; felt like home.
“But that might be about all I can say about that.
* * *
“At closing Father Osborn said he hoped to greet all on their way out. I took him at his work, (sic) clasping and saying ‘You might not remember me, but I asked you for a blessing before I proposed to my fiancèe and, well, she said ‘yes.” He said, ‘I mentioned it in my homily.’
“I had to go. I was near the front of a line of over 100 parishioners, but I still felt the glow as I drove to the Crawfords.
“Crawfords!
“These are still my people. Mine.
“I arrived (11:20ish). It was me, John and Carol, Sarah and Lindsay, Marcie and Elizabeth.
“Amanda also stopped in a while.
“We started with what’s up with you’s and when slowingdown first loomed I invoked the Election.
…
“I went home and wrapped my presents in a frenzy and went to bed, exhausted.”
“Christmas was generally a bit more disorganized than usual, but still fun.
“We got up 9-something, had bread and coffee (coffee was a theme throughout the day), and opened presents.
“At 11ish grandma Coyne and aunt Georgia came over. We unwrapped more gifts, then helped mom with lunch and ate. Sometime after 1, grandma and Georgia left, and my parents left with Craig and Caitlin to see grandma Mascroft.
“I took a nap.
“In the afternoon we lounged around and I read the Travel Book.
“Later, we went to grandmas for ham, scalloped potatoes” … “sifting through they honeyed.
“Caitlin and Craig played for us and sounded sweet, even though Craig’s hand cramped up.
“We went home, got home 10:40. I went to be by 11:30.”
“Oh yes, and on Christmas Eve I called Jess and read her a sonnet by Shakespeare 15x saying she was beautiful.”
That flowers had stolen their graces from her. Which is, of course, only the edge of the truth…
~ Connor