DIARY
Got up at 8.
I hit the snooze button once.
I got up at 8:15. Showered, shaved, and dressed. I grabbed half of an English muffin from the Continental Breakfast. I was there with my aunt and brother and sister. We drove out to ArmCo where we spent two hours adjusting tables and chairs, setting toppers on the tables and vases on the toppers, hanging flowers, arranging flowers, resting flowers into the ground, staking torches into the ground. Skylar arrived around ten thirty, and we set up the speakers and DJ station on the edge of the dance floor. We pulled the generator far out into the field and confirmed that the sound was effectively dampened with a Chevy pickup parked in front. The whole crowd out there consisted of myself, my parents, my brother and sister, Peg, Jeff, Chelsea, Jeff Jr., Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sally, Uncle Gary, John and Becky Faulconbridge, Bill and Connie, and Sky.
After setup was finished, I hurried back to the hotel. In the parking lot, I encountered some of my Chicago friends: Liz, Whet, Lisa, her friend from Germany, Irina, Bella, Armand, and Vivian. We exhanged a few words, and I excused myself. I took another shower and said my vows from memory ten times. They were getting better, gradually. Less stumbled and jumbled, gradually.
Then, I dressed in my tux, worked my hair, and tried to polish my nails, but succeeded only in scratching them up. Cody and I went to the church. I saw Fathers Michael and Leo and they asked if I had the Marriage Certificiate. Of course, I did not. Calls were made to the Jalbrzikowskis… the Certificate had been located in Jeff’s Jr.’s room, and Jeff would bring it. I waited in the sacristy for several minutes, spent a few minutes greeting guests in the church, returned to the sacristy, got word that the Certificate had been delivered, conferred with Father Mike about prayers and devotions, and watched the clock tick down. I was getting very nervous. Not really dread or anxiety. Not, I think, what they call “cold feel,” but excitement and speculation.
At one point I moved to a side door, and the hymn playing was so moving, so pure and startling, I had to clench my hands. And then Father Mike comes down, probably to calm me, and we talk about something. What, I cannot remember.
We begin.
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NOTE: I’d already posted the rest of this entry, but due to mishaps of myself and Blogger, I must retype it from scratch. Apologies for any attendant abbreviations, etc.
As the official wedding scores began to play, Jeff escorted his Becky down the aisle, with Bill following, and then Cody escorted my mother with my father following. The groomsmen took their place at the front of the church, and Father Michael and I joined them. The church had filled on both sides most of the way back.
Now Purcell’s voluntary began, and Caitlin entered first, was met by Jeff midway, and they took their place near the sanctuary, then Julie entered and was met by Cody. (Julie has an uncanny resemblance to Jess, though their mannerisms are very different; many of our friends, having never met Julie before wondered why Jess was wearing a bridesmaid’s dress).
As the music dropped off into a lull, Clayton and Thalia entered. We’d expected that the circumstances would overwhelm Thalia; she was two and Clayton was three, and we’d decided to include the flower girl and ring bearer partly as an acknowledgment that we sometimes take ourselves too seriously. At the rehearsal dinner, Thalia has broken down under the pressure and needed consolation. Today, however, she strode straight down the aisle, nibbling on the flower stem, and came to the front where she turned in slow circles before Mike (her father) caught her attention. Clayton, however, who had done so well at the rehearsal, was distracted by a moment of crisis. He made it a third of the way down the aisle, stopped, and plunged his finger full into his nose, where he remained for the next minute or so. Finally, Michael (his father) cracked the door and beckoned Clayton back. “Daddy, I got a booger,” he said. Michael took Clayton to the bathroom, where he blew his nose, and was ready to move on. But by that point the ceremony had moved along…
There was an odd moment of tension when Jess missed her entrance. The music swelled, and for a moment I pictured Jess, dressed in her gown and veil, hurrying away on Underwood St. Finally the doors swung open, and Jess entered on her Jeff’s arm, both of them calm and composed and smiling as she walked down the aisle. I met Jeff at the front of the church, Jess transferred her arm to mine, Jeff took his seat and the ceremony began.
Michael said some opening words about the ceremony, and after we sat Jess began to tear up. I’d had my motive moment standing in the sacristy, off to the side, and out of sight, so I was calm as Jess sniffed, whispered “we’re getting married, and my mother passed her up a handkerchief.
Laura read the Old Testament reading from the Song of Songs, we sang the Psalm with the organ trilling behind us, and Mandy read the New Testament from Paul’s Letter to the Romans. Then father Michael read the gospel; the account of the transformation at the wedding at Cana. His homily touched on the status of water used for scrubbing dirty feet and also exposed my family’s history as ex-Catholic, but the main thrust was one Michael described as “heritical.” He touched on the range of sacrements, saying that there had been lists ranging from one (all-inclusive) sacrament to seven-hundred odd. He then posited that, now baptism, but matrimony was the most important sacrament. In matrimony we best obey and emulate God, for in two people joining together, there is a generation, an act of creation: a new family is born. The homily was stirring and accessible and many of our guests commented on it afterward.
After the homily, Jess and I approached the sanctuary again and said our vows, which we remembered flawlessly. My vows touched on our rings as a representation of our being bound together; of our choice to accept our connection now and for all the future. Jess’ vows expressed that whatever difficulties we’d encounter in our lives, and whatever joys, she’d want us to stand together through them. We exchanged our rings, and the Liturgy of the Eucharist began.
Through the rest of the ceremony, Robyn slid back and forth among the front several rows, though we hardly noticed, taking pictures. Father Mike alleviated the serious tenor of thing by continually ribbing Julie and me. When Julie was a little late catching Jess’ train, he remark that “you have the hardest job here,” or when I stood on the wrong side, too far from Jess, he asked, “Leaving her so soon? You dog!” Maria offered the prayers.
Jess and I gave each other communion and passed the chalise back and forth between us, and communion continued. I saw many of our friends and Jess’ relatives pass us as communion was dispensed: Amber and Liz and the Jalbrzikowskis. Caitlin and Cody approached the sanctuary for blessings. And then, after the final announcement and applause, we walked down the aisle and exited into the narthex as husband and wife.
From here, our families stood in a quick receiving line that, in the end, was not so quick, and another half our later, we hurried back into the church to take pictures with Robyn. I feel kind of bad, because the event had lasted longer than we anticipated, and by the time we left the church for good (well after four), we were officially overlapping with confessions. We left at 4:20.
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We rode to the reception in my grandma’s sparkling Bonneville. My dad drove with Jeff in the passenger side, and Jess and I in the back. We took the long way, riding along Main St., across the Y-Bridge, down Main, up State, and winding through the west side of town until we got to ArmCo. As we pulled up, the arrival song, So Happy Together by the Turtles, began playing, and as we got out of the car, everyone started applauding. The tents were a hive of activity, with Adornettos being bustled to and from the tables and warmers, and glasses of champaigne being passed around. Jess and I made our way to our table, and after just a few minutes, things continued. Cody gave a toast, echoing what my father has said the night before; that Jessica was a part of our family, and that it seemed we belonged together. Julie gave her toast, a short poem wishing us happiness together. Bill stood, bowed his head, and offered a short prayer, clear. And the food was served.
Jess and I had time for a few quick bites of salad and our own, heart-shaped pizza, and then Robyn pulled us away for photographs in the field. As the dinner music continued, Jess and I made our rounds and tried to greet all of our guest… I know I’m going to leave some out here… but we spoke with the Jalbrzikowskis and Fultons and Mikises and Stines and others of Jess’ dozens (hundreds?) of relatives, my family, including Aunt Liz and Aunt Peg, the Duncans, Jill and Nicole, Lyn and Melissa, Anna and Eleanor, Sam and Libby and Sky and Coral and Lisa, the U of C crowd which was One Part Mathews House connected and One Part Scavhunt connected, Peter and Matt, Meridith and Sawyer and Laura, Rima and Evan, the Teslars, the Roccolis, the Faulconbridges, and Paul who had, despite his usual run of mishaps and natural disasters had made it through hell and high water to Zanesville.
Since the reception had gotten off to a late start, we improvised from one event to the next. First, we cut the cake Aunt Sandy had made for us to the song Short Skirt, Long Jacket. Some people got the joke by their knowing nods, and Aunt Sandy’s cake was a cake, in the sense the it didn’t just look like one of the most spectacular cakes ever, but it tasted wonderful as well.
Sky announced the first dance, Kissing You by Des’Ree and we waltzed clumsily but with eye-contact, even though we somehow mismatched the genders through the first part of the song. We even managed to twirl through the bridge. Sky transitioned into Landslide (the original Stevie Nicks), and Jess danced with her father while I danced with my mother. Mom and I talked through most of the dance, slowly turning and talking (the Coyne dance; something easier than a waltz), and it was another moment that always seems overrated at someone else’s wedding but is memorable and worth remembering at your own.
Then, with a gesture and the incredibly smart choice of the Proclaimers’ 500 Miles, Sky managed to fill the dance floor with twenty or so kids, and the dancing continued through the rest of the reception. During the antipated battle for the bouquet, (Can’t Hurry Love, the Supremes) in which a dozen or so Chicago girls stood back helplessly as the fires raged, Maria barely out-toppled Hallie. Then, during the unanticipated battle for the garter (Ice, Ice, Baby, Vanilla Ice), Sebastian out-toppled Cody. More pictures, and we continued.
Finally, with the sun setting and some guests angling to go, Jess and I didn’t want to shut down the party, but we wanted our friends and family to see our exit. We asked our fathers if they could shut down the party when it seemed best if we left. They agreed. The last several songs for the moment played out, closing with 1979. The last dance was Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. As Jess and I danced in the sun, our guests lit sparklers, and the tents filled with smoke.
When the song had ended, It’s the End of the World as we Know It (and I Feel Fine) blasted in, and Jess and I improvised a run out to the LeBaron, with our guests chasing with sparklers. The car had been decorated while we were gone; now it was covered with pew bows and pop cans, and words had been soaped on: “I Can’t Belize It!” “Just Married” and “Love and Marriage Goes Together Like a Flippin’ Horse and Carriage.” We dropped the top and with guests running the first several hundred feet alongside the car, we were off!
We later found out that the party had continued for a full two hours, with increased antics involving the wine and keg, and that some of our friends had appropriated (actually, given) a golf cart which was wheeled about ArmCo by the most unlikely of characters. Then, when the part was deemed over, they all hung around to pick up tables and chairs and clean up.
But Jess and I witnessed none of this. We were away…
END OF POST