EVENT
Aside: I know I’ve only written about things up ’til midday yesterday, and had budgeted a full hour this morning to catch up. Of course, I had just sat down to do so, when a frantic email arrived telling me that one team, Snell-Hitchcock, was ready to play our theme song at the Carillon.
It was a worthwhile trip.
And now it’s a half-hour later.
Trying to catch up…
* * * * *
We moved directly from the salon setting to Hutch courtyard for the Scav Hunt All-Star Olympics.
SCAVHUNT ALL-STARS
Item #59. Fantasy ScavHunt and Fantasy ScavOlympics. Bring a team member to the Reynold’s Club at 1300 on Thursday to draft an All-Star Olympic team. The All-Stars will be from other teams, but they will be representing your ScavHunt team. [x + x’ points]
Granted, I’m still figuring out the details on how this one works, but I get the gyst of it. Teams send their best players, and receive points based on 1) participation and 2) how high in the draft their members are picked. Those chosen members then go on to compete on behalf of the teams that have chosen in sevral predetermined activities. (A second stage of this is going on right now, as I type, at an undisclosed location elsewhere in Chicago).
Yesterday, the games were sports oriented. In a sense.
Once each team had chosen three representatived, and these had been divided up for the All-Stars events, we began the first event.
#1. The Spin n’ Sit n’ Run n’ Hug.
For this event, two team members stand a distance about about thirty feet apart. They begin spinning rapidly, for thirty seconds. They then must sit down, stand up, and run, and hug their teammate. It’s difficult enough to be frustrating but not impossible. At this competition, we were a little dubious that many of the participants were spinning quite as fast as we would’ve liked, but they all were able to complete the competition, with a clear first place, and about a fiveway tie for second.
#2. The Undressing Relay
A two lap, three phase relay around Hutch Courtyard. All three all-stars from each team were required for this one. They ran the lap, changing off every third of the way around. The first lap, team members had to remove their shirt, and pass it on to another team member, who swapped their shirt for the one they had been handed. The second lap repeated this process with pants.
I’d predicted ahead of time that one, and exactly one of the participating teammates would be “going commando.” A Joe responded something to the effect of, “God, who goes commando during scavhunt?” Sure enough, we’d just expalined the item when we heard a telltale “oops!” from one of the participants.
Judges have a love-hate relationship with items that involve nudity. They’re great in that they’re guaranteed to startle any passerby, but more importantly because they expose a freedom and lack of restraint often missing at this school. On the other hand, because that lack of restraint is a luxuty to so many people, it can get a little gratuitous.
I liked this item overall because the nudity was necessary to it. It wasn’t just a “drive a fancy car… only naked” item. The state-of-undress wasn’t just an accoutrement, but it served a functional purpose. Everyone left with dignity intact, perhaps a little self-deprecation, but no lasting damage. As Christian (who presided over the event) said, “the objective here is not to end the race naked.”
#3. The Pie Eating Contest
No need to explain. One teammate ate (no hands allowed), one held the pie, and one acted as cheerleader.
I was assigned to monitor one teams’ progress, and they won, hands down, using a very messy approach that was nonetheless effective. He’d lower his jaw somehow further than I could figure, and lift the pie up and in like a shovel. This, combined with monstrous bites he somehow swallowed without chewing gave him a velocity that finished a half-minute ahead of anyone else.
In fact, when some of the pie had fallen on the ground and I called out “Play to fourth place; some of the pie fell,” he knelt down and began scarfing pie from the dusty, cigarette stomped flagstones.
He earned my admiration.
In a weird turn of fate (or training?) all three winners had been the all-stars selected by Shoreland team.
#4. Where at the U of C is Carmen Sandiego
Also pretty self-explanatory, though I’d expected it to be more complicated. Team members each in turn had to try to identify buildings on a chalked out map of campus using plates affixed to stick “handles.” Most players got at four out of five, and one got five out of five. Judge Nick presided over this, and with its completion, Scav AllStar Olympics were completed.
A BRIEF BREAK
By now it was 3:30. I went to BartMart, bought a toothbrush (since I’d left mine at Jess’) and some razors (to finish my earlier shave). I shaved in the Family Bathroom in the basement of the Reg, then posted my last blog post. This gives a sense of how I’m running, keeping up with this “live blog.” I’m twenty hours behind, as of now.
WACKY RACES
The judges reconvened at the Reynolds Club around 4:45 to begin preparation for the 6 o’clock Wacky Races event, taking the place of the game shows that have dominated the last two years.
Item #38. And now here they are: the most daredevil group of daffy drivers ever to whirl their wheel in the Wacky Races, competing for the title of the campus’s wackiest racer! At 6:00 PM on Thursday, wheel your racer over to Harper for the Qwazy Wuad Rally. Attached to this list is your Racer assignment… and awaaaay they go on the way-out Wacky Races! You can cound on Judges Dick Dastardly and Muttley to stop at nothing to keep you from claiming the title! All racers must be shopping cart baased.1 [30 points for first, 20 for second, 10 for third. Up to X points for your racer]
This was an old Hannah-Barbera cartoons about eleven racers who vied on various oddball tracks, with the cardinal “bad guy” Dastardly (transparently based on Rocky and Bullwinkle’s Snideley Whiplash, which was transparently based on villains from gay nineties melodramas) and his dog Muttley represented (in costume) by Judges Christian and Fink.
Other teams were assigned as follows: The Vegans/COOP as the Slag Brothers in the Boulder Mobile, Snell-Hitchcock as Professor Pat Pending in the Ring-a-Ding Convert-a-Car, Broover(?) as Peter Perfect in the (incredibly phallic) Turbo Terrific, Shoreland as Penelope Pitstop in the (incredibly yonic) Compact Pussycat, Pierce as the Sarge and Private Meekly in the Army Surplus Special, Max P as the Ant Hill Mob in the Bullet Proof Bomb, Broadview(?) as Luke and Blubber Bear in the Arkansas Chugabug, and F.I.S.T. as Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon. You can google these names for images, but the cars we saw were just as startlingly wonderful.
In fact, the fact that this relatively brief event overpowered the Thursday night lineup (something I had and still have sharp reservations about) and that we required shopping carts as the base of all cars had one overpowering benefit: typically, one or two teams will do an outstanding job on items of this sort, and one or two will bring in total shite. But this time, every vehicle was impressive, and several were outstanding. The lineup at the start line was just as collorful and bright as the cartoon itself. And, of course, they were zigzagging about campus.
The race itself had some surprises. Dick and Muttley had planted some traps… inconveniently placed dumpsters and trash bins, a bucket of ice which they scattered on the track, and an honest-to-god (vegetable) oil slick.
As bad as these were, they were nothing compared to the combination of sharp turns + curbs. I was present at one of these at about the half-way mark when the then-in-first Shoreland tipped on itside, sending the rider flying, and they had just righted themselves when the F.I.S.T. and another team hit the same snag. What followed was an honest-to-god three-cart pile up. I’d bitched earlier about making everyone wear helmets of some sort, but witnessing this changed my mind.
In the end, the Vegans won, but since points are also awarded on the construction of the vehicle, most teams will benefit from working on this item.
As most of the teams dispersed, we did a second round of selection for Scavhunt All-Stars, and Sebastian and I demonstrated proper technique in a spin-sit-run-hug. I had my nose jammed about halfway up my skull as a result.
THURSDAY NIGHT
Things had wrapped up for the night somewhat early.
We returned to Courtney’s via Harold’s and Kimbark and spent the next several hours talking, playing MegaMan, and preparing for the next day. I, utterly exhausted, and feeling a little down, though I wasn’t sure why, lay down for a short nap at about 10:30.
I woke up at nine this morning.
I’ve written before on the “art” of Holding Down. Holding Down lacks technique or subtlety. It’s completely elegant and its one component is a cultivated, intuitive sense of timing. It is essentially a stubborn resistance, unyielding, uncompromising. There are places in life for this to be employed.
In scavhunt, both judges and teams need to hold down against the great enemy: sleep. Rest. Stasis. There is no strategy here. As Sawyer says in the Hunt, you’re going on caffeine and adrenaline. Your body has nothing else to give you.
So if you’re good enough, and dedicated enough, you Hold Down. And if you Hold Down, you’ll still be awake in the morning.
Last night I made a grave mistake in lying down for a moment. I should have Held Down, as I intend to tonight, and Saturday night.
I’ll be Holding Down for the remainder of the Hunt.