CONCEPT
160. The biggest goddamn sombrero we’ve ever seen. Fully functional sombreros only. [12 points per square foot. No goddamn limit. 6 bonus points for a goddamn running rendition of the Mexican Hat dance]
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If it isn’t a deep, sworn secret, I’d be interested to know what item, in you folks’ opinion, almost destroyed the Hunt.
posted by Milligan @ 12:21AM on 2004-05-12 | website | permalink
I don’t think it is such a deep, sworn secret. Sunday night, Connor was telling me about the uproar that would have resulted had we really won the Hunt with a 4000 point giant fucking sombrero.
posted by colin @ 1:53AM on 2004-05-12 | website | permalink
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I think there’s something telling in the fact that despite all the traffic, these are about the only two comments posted in the last week.
Which is fine with me; this is a subject I very much would like to talk about.
Colin correctly identifies the item, but I should make a few qualifications first.
I admit to a little posturing here. When I say this is “the item that almost destroyed Scav Hunt,” I say it in much the same way as Rolling Stone said “in order to save themselves, Radiohead had to destroy Rock N’Roll.”
I’m not full of shit… there’s a definite point I’m trying to communicate, but rhetorical punch isn’t the whole story.
I also admit, I can’t share all relevant details of this item without breaking the Histrionic Oath, which I am bound to uphold.
So:
I wrote Item #160 this past spring and it made it onto the list with minor modifications. The pointing, however, happened very late in the game, apparently being calculated for hats of a smallish size… say a radius of no more than 4′. The problem was twofold.
First, pointing was by square feet and so grew exponentially (?) as the radius increased. A sombrero with a radius of 6′ would be worth more than twice a sombrero of 4′.
Second, not only was no limit stated in the item, but the item explicitly said that there was no limit. This was my doing, but I maintain that it wouldn’t have been a problem if the point value would have been decreased by a factor of 5 or 6. I don’t think a Hyde Park-sized sombrero is particularly likely, and if it was actually made, would probably deserve to win the Hunt by thousands of points.
At 12 points per square foot, however, a Hyde Park-sized sombrero wasn’t necessary. With the winning team amassing somewhere shy of 10,000 points (I believe), a much smaller sombrero could have won the Hunt for any team.
Of course, this could have been headed off early in the Hunt by simply contacting captains before teams had expended great effort on the thing, and changing the wording. As it was, we didn’t address the matter until Saturday night when, having visited team HQs, we were startled by the number of ginormous sombreros.
As it turned out, there was no need for worry. The item (thankfully) stipulated sombreros must be full-functional. Snell-Hitchcock built an amazingly dangerous sombrero with a radius of 12′, while FIST provided a sound and safe 10′ giant condom, neither of which fits my definition of “full-functional.” The Pierce team had built the largest and most stylish full-functional sombrero, so I felt comfortable giving them the full-stated award of 600 points, then pointed other teams down from there, based on effort and execution (the two examples above both netted 450 I believe*).
I’ll maintain however, that this item could have been disastrous to the Hunt.
Two illustrations:
– There has been some speculation among Palevskians that Snitchcock had won through their sombrero alone. Had the item been pointed correctly, and a giant sombrero won the hunt, there would have been widespread disaffection among many teams (ie. all those who *didn’t* have a giant sombrero) and the credibility of the judges would have been difficult to establish in later years.
– In 1999, points for the Breeder reactor were decreased by a margin of 5 so that that item wouldn’t win the Hunt. Consider that in 1999 the point change had been announced by midday Friday, not Sunday morning. Consider also that many former Mathewsniks still grumble about this development after 5 years. Finally consider that the fucking-with-teams was especially severe this year. Had we devalued the item on Sunday morning, there would have been widespread disaffection among many teams (ie. all those who *did* have a giant sombrero) and the credibility of the judges would have been difficult to establish in later years.
It would have been a lose-lose situation, for teams, for judges, and for the Hunt… had a full-functional giant sombrero been built. As it is, I don’t think they even affected the standings, with the possible exception of the Nonames, who tied with G-Sprout as a result.
~ Connor
* It is a common judge prerogative to keep pointing secret, and I typically do so.
I provide them here because they are necessary to this conversation.
I shall surely be flogged for my transgressions.